Friday, February 19, 2010

Embracing Feelings

There are so many ways to deal with feelings. You can ignore them. You can be angry. You can work and do things to avoid feeling the feelings. You can try to please those around you by hiding the feelings so your family or friends won't be uncomfortable.But in the end, the reality strikes and eventually you must embrace your feelings.

If the feelings are shoved down to far they'll eventually cause illness. If you are lucky, you'll manifest a simple cold that'll make you stop, rest, feel, cry and take the time to nurture yourself during your "down time." If you aren't so lucky, you could manifest something much more serious after it's too late. 

Even though it's uncomfortable it is important to let feelings rise to the surface. It is healthy. It is also a very vulnerable feeling. There is great power in vulnerability. This brings to mind an article I wrote in 2006 when my Aunt Rose and my Dad were still alive. At this time I am grieving the loss of 3 elders that transitioned in the past 6 months. They were my closest parental figures. I embrace the feelings I have, for I miss my dearest Dad, Marguerite Barringer and Aunt Rose so much. I m happy for them because I feel their joy but it doesn't stop the feelings of missing them. Please read my article of July 2006.

       Power and Vulnerabilty
These days have been intense and challenging. Our times are ever changing with new arenas of possibilities being present almost daily. Our society has changed significantly as well as our technological reality. How is this affecting man/womankind?  If we take it one person at a time and we were able to get a truly authentic powerful and vulnerable answer, I bet that many would answer that they are overwhelmed. 

In any given day we have to check our email, check our phone messages (cell phone, work phone and home phone), answer all of the above, keep track of our car, homes, finances, groceries, health, exercise, work, what to eat (based on the latest findings), what not to eat, when to eat it, not to mention having time to enjoy family and friends and I must add that underlying it all is a part of us that may be worried about a terrorist attack.  To make a point, I am leaving that as a run on sentence to emphasize the energy of being overwhelmed! 

To be overwhelmed is “to be upset, to cover completely, to submerge, to overcome by superior force or numbers or to overpower in thought.”  If I am in the state of being overwhelmed, how can I get back to being connected with who I truly am?  How can I even find me under all those distractions and daily challenges?  I’m not sure I have an answer for you or me, but I may have some suggestions to start shifting in more positive and hopefully peaceful directions.

In February 2006, I returned from a family reunion, and I realized that it was one of the best things I could have done for myself.  When I got there, I found out that my aunt tricked me into coming by telling me that she needed my help.  That was a wake-up call when I found out that she recognized that the only way to get me to slow down long enough to be with family was to tell me she needed me help her work on a project. The key word here is work. Take a moment now for self-reflection.  Ask yourself, am I a workaholic? Whatever your answer is, suggestion number 1 is to spend time with those you really love and those who really love you. It is nurturing and loving for yourself and your loved ones.  

During this same trip, my uncle made a statement numerous times over the course of the days we were together.  He said, “The only thing constant is change.” Suggestion number 2 is to accept that change is reality. Things are constantly changing. The more we learn to flow with the changes versus fighting the changes, the happier and healthier we will be.  

Suggestion number 3 is to pay attention to our elders and spend time with them while we can, because some day we are going to wish we did and then it might be too late.  Our elders, be it a parent or a dear friend, have so much to share and we can learn so much from them.  They have wonderful stories filled with wisdom.  Their wisdom took a lifetime to learn and experience.  Here is this valuable tool in our midst and do we pay attention?  The value of the time with our elders is immeasurable.  Our culture has forgotten how to care for those who took care of us as babies, children, and sometimes, even as adults.  Our elders deserve our love, attention and company.  Take the time to read to them, take them for a drive, play their favorite music, and you will find that your own life will be much richer for the experience.

Suggestion number 4 travels into the realm of power and vulnerability. To create a balance, we must step into our power while allowing ourselves to be open and vulnerable. The challenge is the fine balance between the power of the ego and the power of Love. One definition of power is “to exert influence or to have an effect on others or oneself.” 

The type of power I am speaking of is the power of Love. That power of Love must have an effect on ourselves first and then can shared with others.  It is the power of Love that once fully integrated is able to be shared fully, completely and authentically with others.  Some of us feel that showing vulnerability is a weakness. It is not. It takes a lot of strength, courage and power to be vulnerable. 

Vulnerability is allowing oneself to be open and to expose our true self. If we are “vincible” we are capable of being overcome with love, tenderness and truth.  Our ego nature is to be “invincible” and never let anyone get that close. In these times, although I recommend being discerning, allow yourself to be vulnerable around those who are nearest and dearest to you. Let us return to loving each other fully and deeply. One way to start is with those who are your true friends and loving family.  Start today, even if it is with only one or two dear ones. Open to the power of Love!

With tenderness and vulnerability I send many blessings and joy to you!

1 comment:

Hibiscus Moon said...

yes, sometimes vulnerable, but i do agree that is good to get it all out regularly.